A stranger in my own city

Sama and I went for a walk around Jaffa. She had the camera. Here are the pictures that she took, and the words that she said:

‘This is my mother. Her name is Aida, like the opera. Mum grew up in one house in Ajami (my grandfather lives there now and I have no connection with him). Grandfather used to work in the French embassy and spend summer inside with all the children when the ambassador was away.

‘Mum was born in 1957. The family lived in a big beautiful house in Jaffa – in '48 the Jewish army broke into the house at night and the family ran away with only their clothes – to a house nearby that was destroyed. This is where my grandfather lives in now.

‘I don’t know exactly where the old home is. I asked my mother and she told me the area, but not the house.

‘My grandfather was a tough man – violent. My grandmother was the best mother – everybody in the street loved her. What a good woman she was. She died of brain cancer at 60 and my mother fell apart.

‘This is the house my parents lived in after they married. They lived on the ground floor and my aunt lived upstairs.

‘Just this year, I discovered Jaffa again. I didn’t know about a lot of places. When my brothers lived in my house, they didn’t let me go out very much. It’s like I grew up under the shadow of my brothers. Because I was their sister. Everyone knew them. They are very strong and have a lot of friends.

‘I have known the girl in the centre of this picture since she was a baby – she is the sister of someone who used to be my best friend.

‘This man works at Humus Asli. I don’t want to stop here with him for too long because people will start to talk. It’s always like that in Jaffa. I don’t feel comfortable walking in the street because I don’t feel at home here – not to the place but to the people.

‘Have you heard about the ‘city behind bars’ – Andromeda? It’s a new apartment complex that is completely closed behind gates. You can only go inside if you live there. It’s in Jaffa. They build something that doesn’t relate to Jaffa and they put a wall …

‘… Arabs build these places. It’s so cold this metal, so easy to break but no one does it – they are afraid. Why would anyone want to live like this when they are so unwelcome here? They are taking our city. It is against our will. The people here know that they have so much strength but they are scared: did you hear that quote, our greatest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure? It’s from the film Coach Carter… it is our light, not our darkness, that we fear the most.

‘Look at this mural – it’s painted like a children’s book. It’s like Jaffa now – people are killing each other with their guns.

‘Can you believe this is Jaffa? All the construction… It looks just like the Palestinian part of Jerusalem – the villages.

‘I like to see this, it’s like old times. 

 

‘This boat is call Najach – which means ‘success’ in Arabic. It’s ironic, because the boat is lying on a wasteland. And the wasteland is like a sea – the division between the old and the new. Look at the – what do you call that? The mast. It demonstrates pride.

‘The Arab men look at the outside more than the inside. They don’t care if the girl is evil or has the same interests. Most girls here are just a beautiful picture next to the man: what she desires or thinks or wants is not important. They are stuck in this way of thinking… like this girl leaning out of the window. She said she used to play football. She’s only 16 – and I asked her, ‘why used to?’ And she said ‘well, I’m engaged now’, so I said, ‘just because you’re engaged, everything stops?’ And she shrugged and said ‘yes’.

‘I feel like a stranger in my own city – the Arabs think I’m Jewish. It’s funny because the people who accept me as I am are Jews - like I go around Jaffa and they say I’m Jewish because I don’t walk in that arrogant way the other Arabic girls do.

‘But my mother taught me to be this natural. I want to be loved for who I am.’

Comments

[Nizo]

Najah.. marooned on rubble like so many failed dreams in our sad Missile East.

What a powerful photo ya Leila..

[Leila]

Nizo - I know! Thanks for this comment - Sama's first time with the camera... amazing (thru her eyes). Wish you could come to Jaffa and see the rest of the girls' work. L

[Jill]

These photos are beautiful - so poignant and seeped in emotion. I live in London where we hear and see so much about the Middle East and the conflict, but so little about the individuals and their personal stories. Thank you for sharing and keep up the great work...

[kamila]

Podziwiamy Cie tu w Polsce i mamy nadzieje że to sie kiedyś zmiani!!!!
You are very sesitive person!
be yourself!!!!! greatings from Poland