Erasure

 

Outreach with the U-Turn project in London. 10pm. I am on the streets, driving in a four-by-four, with the founder of U-Turn, a drop-in centre for women sex workers – aka prostitutes. We’re in East London. These aren’t courtesans, they’re not luscious, made-up sex artistes. They are young women with nowhere else to go. For £20, £30 a time, they will get into a stranger’s car, to keep it all together, from day to day.

Some of them sleep in cupboards or lift shafts: they are homeless, came from somewhere else – maybe ran away. Maybe their mother’s boyfriend raped them, or someone fell in love. But it doesn’t matter now. The reason – the origin – is lost, possibly in crack fear or heroin haze. What matters now is living – survival – from day to day.

These are invisible women. Erased. Nobody wants them, nobody knows.

They drain society of its poison: buy our drugs, provide sex without demands, and service the secrets of male child-abuse.

This is where it ends. If you think you’re glamorous, snorting some snow in Soho; if you think you’re cool, learning to dance round a pole. If, somehow, you admire the babes on MTV, here is where it ends. If you bareback a woman but don’t want her child, here is where it ends – your pleasure does not come free. Some woman, somewhere, pays the price.

We’re on the streets. It’s night time, after dark. We offer condoms, have a chat – how are you? How’s it going? Want to come to the centre? Have a shower, something to eat. Maybe later… Got to keep working. If I don’t work tonight I’ll wake up in a state tomorrow, have to get some cash.

There is a shadow man standing across the street, watching as we talk. Here is someone who wants them, someone who knows. He says: I love you darling. Be a good girl, go out there, get me what I need. He is called a ponce.

One woman just had her child taken away. Another is pregnant – if she can’t get off the streets they’ll take the baby at birth. She is beautiful – meets my rolled-down window with a sweetheart smile. We note names and streets, so next week, if somebody’s missing, we can ask around.

I’m part of Change the Picture, a photography project for women sex workers, run with charity PhotoVoice. Every week for 10 months, from May, we’ll run a workshop at U-Turn, in which the women can participate if they want. We’ll teach about making pictures and using words – talk about cameras, memory and image; help the women take another look.

We do not have to accept the words others use to describe us. We do not have to submit to the images that they make. Pictures and words of our own can change the view.

Invisible women drain our poison. Find a way to see.

Comments

[tramp-o-line]

fwding this post to colleagues at $pread.

http://www.spreadmagazine.org/

[Leila]

thanks, T

[Ramona]

Yay! That's what i tried to explain to guys who thought Myspace's Suicide Girls were cool. This is where it ends, this is the ugly/real side of sex abuse and the sex trade. No body wants to end up here. No body wants to know .Good stuff girl - keep me posted, when you get back.xxx Ramonaramone

[Leila]

thank you darling. it's really good to have your understanding and support. we'll be in touch soon x x x x x

[Clara Lin Elliott]

Not enough of us know or even care about the truth. Thankyou. your social comments are powerful ones. keep hold of your Vision. keep hold of your vision x

[armin]

sex trade is ilegal in britain?what about in israel?

[Caro]

Leila...

That's a beautiful piece. Beautifully written I mean, but ugliness laid
bare.

I love 'the reason ­ the origin ­ is lost, possibly in crack fear or heroin
haze' and the idea of the women draining society of its poison. Reminds me
of something my husband talks about re mental illness: that maybe
schizophrenics etc play that absorbing role for other people.

Caro xxxx

[Leila]

Clara and Caro, I'm glad you understand. Thanks for the support Clara, and Caro will look forward to working together. L x

[Leila]

Armin - I'm not sure what you mean by 'sex trade'? Some aspects are legal, some illegal, in both Britain and Israel. L

[Ania]

Dear Leila,
This is very interesting and beautifully written. It reminds me a lot of my journal entries from my outreach sessions. But your observation about the poison is particularly poignant. I have learnt and experienced a lot in Germany. Amazing project - very different. I will tell you all about it when we meet.
Big Hug,
Ania
xxx

[Stina]

hope you are well and feeling positive, great news about the lo-cost phone line... like this piece: it's kind of stark, in a good way.
talk more about that.
lots of love,
stina xxx